Project365: #6 & #7

Apparently I spoke too soon!

You can't see it that well, but check it out!

6:
Nope, not dandruff in my CW's son's hair... SNOW! I loved watching him playing in it. Made me wish I was a kid again :)

aaaand....
7:

Wee!! :D

Project365: #5

Okay, so I'm two days behind. Bite me. I should be caught up tomorrow though because I plan to take another picture later when I'm WATCHING ALABAMA PLAY TEXAS TONIGHT!!

ROLL TIDE!

(ahem..) anyway...

Without further adieu, may I present to you The Great Alabama Blizzard of 2010:

Err... Yeah.

Project365: #3 & #4

I'm having fun with this! I'm interested to see at the end of the year what comprises most of my pictures.

Here are my pictures for today: (I'm doubling up until I'm caught up tomorrow)
3:
This is a portrait I did of my co-worker's pooches, a mutt named Flo and a Rottie named Bella. I'm really happy with it! It was a gift for my CW's wife, and I hear she loved it!

4:
This makes me think of that song...

So please please please
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time

It's Bogart, of course... 12am this morning, and I'm having a late night snack of toasted (blackened... oops) peanut butter and honey. He never actually makes a grab for it, choosing simply to play upon my sympathies by laying his head on my knee and following me with his eyes as I eat bite after bite until it's gone.

With that level of begging, you would think we give him people food... right?

Wrong!

He only eats his doggy food and the occasional treat.

I guess they're born predisposed to beg.

#1 and #2 of Project365

Well, I've decided I'm going to give Project365 a try. If you're not familiar with it, check out the info here.

Here is photo #1:
That's Bogart on our entertainment center, curled up watching me watch Pride and Prejudice (the 2005 version with Matthew McFadyen as Mr. Darcy. I'm not even going to acknowledge who plays Elizabeth because I can't stand her). He likes Mr. Darcy too- every time MMc had a line, he would perk up and watch the TV.

If you look closely, you can also see evidence of the other woman in mine and DH's marriage...
the xbox controller =P

Here's #2:

I love, love, love this. It came from my issue of People's Sexiest Men, and now it's hanging on my inspiration leaf in my office (another pic for another day).

The One Minute Writer

Okay.

I haven't been here in forever... and I haven't been that great about eating right, working out, etc. Frankly, life has been way too busy with my classes and my grandmother's been sick, so I just haven't even thought about it!

Anyway... I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo (www.nanowrimo.org for more info), and I've got a story in the pipes that I would like to use. I need to use the time between now and Nov 1 plotting and planning so until then, Metamorphosis is metamorphosizing (is that even a word?) into a catchall for my various and sundry thoughts in relation to my story :)

One thing I'm going to try to do is do the "one minute writer" (www.oneminutewriter.blogspot.com) every day. I'm hoping that in getting those thoughts down in 60 seconds or less, I can draw from them for my story. Some days, that might be the only thing that makes it into this blog. Other days, hopefully I will use this space to flesh out my characters, setting, themes, etc etc etc.

Day 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, it has been a WEEK since my last blog update! School is hard and midterms are next week so unfortunately the blog has been a little low on the priority list.

But I made it! YAY!

In 30 days I went from 159lbs and almost too big for a size 10 to 148 lbs and a comfortable size 8. My energy is through the roof compared to 30 days ago, I have confidence in my body, and eating healthy and being active is just a part of who I am now. It doesn't feel like I'm "dieting"- it feels like I'm making good decisions for my body.

The important thing is that this journey isn't over. 30 days ago, I figured I would probably quit after day 30. I'd probably go back to my old habits and gain it all back because I didn't honestly believe I could be active and healthy. I thought that I was destined for a life of being sedentary and miserable. Now that I'm here though, I'm ready to keep moving forward!

So, here is my new and improved 30 day challenge:
1) Continue doing 30ds 5 days a week (every day just isn't a possibility anymore with school)
2) Continue drinking lots of water
3) Continue eating healthy with smaller portions

But here are my new challenges:
1) Now that I'm comfortable with my body, I need to dig deeper and become comfortable with who I am** (see note below)
2) Research vegetarianism, and possibly ease my way into the lifestyle
2a) find vegetarian recipes that DH will also enjoy, as well as recipes where meat can be added later.

Note on new task 1: Okay. I don't even really know where to start on this... Basically I've always been a geeky, naturally introverted person who tends to live in their own universe. Growing up, my well-meaning mom always pushed me to be more extroverted, to want to be the center of attention, to dress a certain way and act a certain way to be attractive to guys. She told me that in essence I'm "too smart" and that I need to dumb myself down so people won't think I'm weird and that I should pretend to be interested in things I don't really care about if I want friends.

Let me reiterate here that she really meant well... I think she knew my nature better than anybody and she worried that I would miss out on all of the "fun" parts about being a teenager. She told me basically "fake it 'til you feel it".

But what ended up happening was that I didn't know where that faux part of me ended and the genuine part of me began. I had this life on the outside where I felt like I always had to be the person with the witty comebacks, I felt this huge pressure to be the prettiest and the funniest and maybe not the most popular... But definitely the one that guys fought over. The big thing is, I hated it. I hated feeling that way, and I was really bad at it. Then on the inside, I just wanted to crawl further in my shell and hide from the world and that part of me hated what was going on around me.

I didn't actually realize this until I moved out of my house in 2006. My mom and I just weren't getting along anymore, and I was so angry with her and I couldn't figure out why. So, despite my spiritual and moral convictions I crashed on the couch of my then-boyfriend (now DH) just to get away from all of it. What I found was the longer I was out of that situation, the more those external layers started falling off. Of course, it took a few years, but gradually I started feeling better about going out in public and for the first time in my life I didn't feel performance anxiety when I went out.

But now... I don't know. I feel so much better now that I'm true to myself about who I am, what I like, and what I want... But I have this huge sense of fear that nobody will like me or love me for who I am now that I'm honest with myself that yes, I'm an epic dork. Yes, I read too much and live in my own head more than I ever should, which translates to being just a little bit awkward and clumsy in public... also, I know that it's not sexy when I'm awkward and clumsy in public- and that's okay. I think my husband is the only person who loves me for who I am genuinely, and I feel so isolated and alone because I realize that I've sort of marketed myself as someone different than who I really am throughout my whole life.

Is it wrong to want people to love me warts and all, and not be repelled by all of my quirks? :'(

Day 23: Raising the bar...

Well I've lost around 10 lbs since the beginning of this process, but I've already hit a plateau. So, I'm raising the bar. Today, I'm moving up to Level 2.

I'm also going to be changing my schedule around a little bit. Until now, at night I've come home from work and cooked dinner, crashed on the couch for a little while, and then at 9:00 I'll do my workout. After about 20 minutes of unwinding, time for bed.

This just isn't working for me anymore. My homework is sapping all of my energy and by 9, I'm waaaay too exhausted to be working out. So, I'm going to start doing it when I get home, before dinner. After dinner, homework. Then bed. Hopefully this change in my workout + my schedule will get me back on track.

While I'm here... I'd like to rec a healthy snack! Yesterday I was at Publix looking for lunch when I stopped to peruse the energy/protein/meal replacement bar section. An employee asked me what bars I liked, what I was trying to achieve by eating the bars, and then asked me if I had tried the Kind bars yet.

I hadn't, but when I saw flavors like Fruit + Nut Delight, Macadamia + Apricot, Almond + Coconut and Walnut + Date, I knew I had to at least give it a try. I picked up a Fruit + Nut Delight, and headed back to the office for lunch.

Here's what I liked about the bar: It was amazingly simple. Literally just nuts, a little bit of fruit, and I think I tasted some honey in there as well. Also, among other things they're gluten, dairy, and wheat free. They're high in fiber, low in sodium, and naturally have a low GI.

The best part out of all of it is that the Kind brand donates a percentage of their profits to PeaceWorks.